Overheard yesterday on the street:"I'm from Masachusetts. Trust me. I know how shitty it is."
I just want to set the record straight, guy in suit, sneakers and sunglasses at 7pm. YOU, sir, are the shitty one. The great state of Massachusetts may be missing a few things (White Castle, diversity), and may have some embarassing legacies (Catholics, Mitt Romney) but I believe it to be one of the finest states in the Union. If not the finest.
You needn't shun your home state just because you now live in the Big Apple. It's not like New York is perfect. It has guys like you. Guys who go around loudly proclaimly how feces-filled the home of Sam Adams, e. e. cummings, Dr. Suess and Ben Affleck is. Guys who talk too loud in public. Guys who wear suits.
OK, the Bay State has guys in suits too. Lots of them. Probly lots of loud talkers too. And guys who wear sunglasses at twilight. But I gotta ask....can New York claim to be home to any poets whose names can't be capitalized? BOOM.
5 comments:
If you don't go back into doing comedy again (sketch, stand-up, on film, whatever), you are missing a bet! I'm still laughing at the jerk in sunglasses.
what's wrong with wearing your sunglasses at night :)
I was that guy in the sunglasses. A few items of note:
1.) I have class 3 cataracts which require that I wear light-protective eyewear under any lit up circumstances. Including twilight. I'll thank you not to poke fun.
2.) I was born to a poor couple in Massachusetts who gave me up for adoption. Due to Massholes' love of adopting all things Chinese, I laid in squalor in an orphanage for all of my youth, developing class 3 eye cataracts. My one weekly hour of hope and joy came as an atlar boy at the St. Francis Catholic church in Saugus. Hope and joy which turned to a nightmare of abuse. That priest was a PEEDO. So take your massachusetts and shove it up your butt.
Now I have to go trade some stocks on Wall Street.
T, the underwater shot in facemask was as refreshing as any pink yogurt... and free!! your blog is delight-filled... and free!! pat/jake would be so proud -- now, 2 bloggers using his nicknames. immortalizing him.... and free!!
um, i'm not using patjake's nickname on my blog... i just use it for my nytimes.com subscription. (nerd alert!)
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